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tough stuff

What I’m working through is tough because the root of the story isn’t my own. For those of you who don’t know, Courtney lost her full term son just over a month ago shortly after delivery. She is bravely writing here about her life now, and I am in awe of her ability share with such candor, raw truth and especially her humor. She has always been one of the funniest people i know and I am so glad this unfathomable experience hasn’t taken that quality away from her. Each post bridges the thousands of miles between us and helps me feel a little bit closer to her and I’m am so so grateful for that. Continue reading

the corners of my mind

I sit and i read other peoples stories. Their words, their lives. and I think I know them or relate to them, but sometimes i realize that I really only know the piece of them that they share with the internet and it might even be taking away from me really living my life. Telling … Continue reading

seeing light

Outside the world seems to be going to shit (my thoughts are with Boston and Texas, and anyone affected by the flooding here in IL). It’s been a good week on our little homestead. I needed a good week. On Monday night Sebastian slept from around 8 pm to just after 6 am. It was … Continue reading

Good morning, HULKSMASH.

  7:48 am …things are going swimmingly. The baby is fed and dressed and playing happily while I finish eating and packing up for work. Jason asks if he can get a ride to work. “Sure!” I say happily. Bossman is out so its no big deal if I’m a little late. Time to get … Continue reading

Hormones are Stupid

I’ve never been happier than I was the weeks just following the birth of my son. Everything came pretty easy. Delivery was shockingly quick, breastfeeding worked and the baby was thriving. I was filled with a euphoria like I’d never felt. I laughed like I haven’t laughed in years. Even in a profoundly sleep deprived state, life was bliss. The autumnal days were long and sunny and punctuated with the intoxicating newborn aroma. There were rough days for sure. In particular I remember dreading nights when in knew I was facing many wake ups, but then the sun would come up nice and early and I would be eager to start another day. In general I only had brief moments of anxiety, usually over the fact that things were so perfect something was bound to go wrong.
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I know I’m due for a 4 month update on Mr. Baz. That’s in the works. For now I just wanted to pop in and put to paper (err screen) that my main resolution for 2013 is to write more. That’s one of the main reasons I wanted to create this space even though it’s … Continue reading

gimme more (inspiration)

sar, you’ve been so good about posting here, and i’ve been terrible.  it’s partially because when i write, i’m even more apt to bear my soul than when speaking.  and that’s a lot.  and it’s not always conducive to a functioning adult life to commit to paper (er, interweb) every thought you have slipping through … Continue reading