Dear Baz // 7 months

Photo: Jail baby's hatching a breakout plan #nonapshere

 

Dear Sebastian,

I keep hearing stories from parents with newborns who sleep through the night – even as early as one month old. This concept is completely foreign to me since the longest you’ve ever slept is probably 6 hours straight. On a good night you’re asleep by 8, up for a quick nosh at 2 and 5 and then up for good around 6. On bad nights – well – I’m working to block those from my memory. You’re helping by flashing me your delightful grin when it is time to get up and face the day. It brings light into my life. Who needs sleep when I’ve got that smile.

We moved you out of our bedroom this month. Hoping the distance would make me less likely to jump up at every little fuss, and would settle you into your own space. While it basically just means I am walking further to feed you a few times a night, I’m still happy we made this change. At night you rest your head on my shoulder as i take you out of your crib. You let me stroke your cheeks and rub your head as you nurse. You remind me that you are still a baby, even though you’re growing faster than the tulips that this frigid Spring has yet to reveal. You’re still my baby. You don’t have any interest in nursing during the day anymore, so I continue to cherish these fleeting moments before my body is done helping you grow. This is more difficult for me than it probably should be, but creating you and nourishing you has been the most amazing thing I’ve ever done.  Logically of course you’ll still need me in many ways for quite some time, but terminating this bond triggers an emotional response that you somehow will need me less. I’m not ready.

Are you teething? I’ve thought you were teething since you were maybe 5 weeks old what with your drooling and  gnawing on anything that enters the vicinity of your mouth. I keep expecting to wake up to your giant grin revealing a couple of chompers, but they seem to be taking their time fighting through your gums. Maybe this is why you sleep so poorly. Your teeth may be as stubborn as you are. You do not like when I take away something you shouldn’t play with or try to get you to do something that prohibits you from your endless exploring (like say- change your diaper).

In addition to gaining crawling speed every day you are now pretty efficient at pulling up. You crawl up to my legs and reach out for my hands so we can “walk” around together. You can climb up the ottoman and the couch and whenever you do you make sure I’m looking at you and beam as though to say “look what i just did!”.

I couldn’t be more proud of everything you do buddy. I’m a little terrified by what you might get into next, but still so so proud.

Love,

Mama

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