Dear Baz // 5 months


Dear Sebastian,

You’re five months now and I am in awe of how quickly time passes. Every week seems to bring on new changes.

You’ve lost some of that “baby” look on your face and sometimes I’m startled by how much you look like a little boy. You’re quite the smiley guy and I’ve gotten pretty good at getting giggles out of you by doing something you think is funny. It might be jumping up and down or making funny noises with my lips or bouncing you on the couch cushions. When I get it right I am rewarded with the sweetest “Heeeee”, and sometimes a full on chuckle. This pretty much means I am making a fool of myself all day long trying to get the next laugh out of you.

You might be trying to mimick the weird noises I make trying to get you to laugh but some strange sounds have started to come out of you. Your coos are more like squawks and your babbles are pretty much just you spitting all over everything. One time you did a spot on impression of a crow. It’s pretty entertaining to see you start trying to express yourself. Sometimes you will just lay on your floor gym and cackle and squee as though you are having a conversation with yourself. With your new noises comes new volume, both for the sweet sounds and the bad. Your cry is no longer that of a newborn but sometimes a full on scream. I’m getting a taste of what tantrums are going to be like and they sure aren’t going to be fun.

You’re getting better at rolling over in particular from your back to your tummy. Sometimes you get a bit stuck on your arm, but when you make it all the way around you don’t hold still for long. You can scoot yourself 360 degrees but haven’t yet figured out how to propel yourself forward. I don’t think that is far away. We’re less cautious when we play with you now since you seem to enjoy a bit of rough-housing. We are guaranteed a smile when we flip you upside down by your legs. You love when your dad plays “Rocket Ship” and blasts you off to fly around the room.

This month you started 3 days a week with the nanny, and we’re finding our rhythm with the change. We split weeks hosting with the other family, so when I need to drop you off I’m still figuring out how to get out the door without forgetting something. It’s still hard for me not to tear up when I leave you but I know you are in good hands. Whenever I pick you up you are playing quietly and reward me with a wonderful full faced grin.

I won’t pretend that every day is easy and perfect. The peaks are higher but the valleys are lower. There are days when you struggle to nap no matter what I try, and we both end the day tired and frustrated. Sometimes we’re cooped up by the January cold, or struggle to leave the house because you can’t seem to last more than a few minutes without spitting up or having a diaper malfunction. But no matter what, when I put you down at night I brush my hand along your check and whisper how much I love you.



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