Dear Baz // 4 months

Dear Sebastian,

I spent my first night away from you this month. While I hoped I would embrace the sleep I was sure I would get, I still found myself awake several times at night worried about how it was going at home and just missing holding you in my arms. You must have been going through a growth spurt while I was gone since you slurped up all the milk I had frozen in the mere 36 hours I was away. Your grandma even resorted to a bottle of formula which you luckily had no problem eating. It took us a little while to get back on track with nursing, and while it was touch and go for a bit I’m happy to say it looks like we’re back on track. I’m not ready to give up that bond with you yet.

We’ve found a nanny-share for you to start going to a few days a week so I can actually focus while I’m at work. I’m very confident that it will be better for you to be around another baby with someone who is able to give you more devoted attention. She’ll speak to you in Spanish and take you on lots of outings, but it still makes me cry a little as we get closer to the start date.

At your 4 month appointment your doctor assessed you at mostly 6 months level. You’re still long (90th percentile) and he thinks you’ll be walking by 9 months (lord help us). You got your 2nd round of vaccines, but this time you were more snuggly the rest of the day rather than fussy. Speaking of snuggles, it might be because it’s my favorite thing to do with you, but you’re an excellent snuggler. You often bury your head in my chest when I hold you, especially if other people are around looking at you. I think you’re a little bit shy. You like to smile a lot but both your dad and I have a hard time getting a photo of your grin since as soon as we hold up any type of camera your expression instantly morphs into “what’s that?”

Your favorite thing to do is put things in your mouth. If anything is held in front of you you open your mouth and lunge forward. Maybe it’s teething. Maybe you just want to EAT ALL THE THINGS. We gave you your first taste of rice cereal and you tried to gobble it all up, but most of it ended up on your face and bib. Something tells me we’re going to have lot’s of fun as we start introducing you to new foods. I can’t wait to cook things for you, and maybe even one day have you help me in the kitchen.

You’re still not a huge fan of sleeping for long periods of time. 5 hours is about the longest stretch we can get from you at night. But you don’t cry when you wake up. You coo for a bit and when I peer over your crib you erupt into a huge smile as though to say “YES! Time for a midnight snack!”. After a nosh you typically nod right back off. Sometime I just bring you into bed and we enjoy some extra snuggles until it’s time to get up and start our day.

I love you with my whole heart little guy.

Love,

Mama

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